If a girl doesn’t express interest in a second date with you, there’s probably a good reason why. In the words of the rock band Linkin Park, “and the reason is you!” Well, not you as a person but maybe something you did. A modest girl may apologize for not being able to spend time with you again due to a jam packed schedule. She may even claim to still be in recovery from her last relationship and that she’s not ready to be on the market again. But let’s face it, every girl wants to meet that one guy who will erase the memory of her Ex and give her a reason to want to cancel all her obligations. So if you didn’t land a second date here are 10 possible reasons why.
10 Things A Guy Can Do to Ruin a Date:
1. Bring Friends
I love a good BOGO special but not on a first date. It can be nerve wrecking getting to know something and throwing your group of friends in the mix doesn’t help. Group dating is a very healthy practice but can be extremely awkward on the first date, especially if she wasn’t expecting the entourage.
2. Not Give Compliments
A girl spends hours to make it seem like she just threw something together. It is an art and it should always be acknowledged. I once went on a date which was seemingly perfect, except one thing. The guy said nothing nice. (I was very cute that night too. I have the selfies to prove it.) Disappointment set in not because I needed his validation but because I felt ignored. He ultimately turned out to be a very self centered guy. So if you see something you like, whether it’s how she looks, how she smells or even her eyes; let her know. Trust me she’s waiting to hear it.
3. Have Bad Breath
Man, I can’t believe this is still a problem in our society with all the fancy toothpastes and mouthwashes made available. Understandably, tart or hungry breath can happen to anyone. There’s still no reason to subject someone else to your stanky, steamy breath when your breath hits you first! Always have gum with you or mints if you prefer. Refresh often. Your body is under allot of pressure whether you know it or not, so help it out. But if you don’t take these measures, she will have to believe that you have halitosis.
4. Rough Appearance
Style is big for some girls. It doesn’t mean she’s shallow, she just prefers a guy that stays up to date with the latest fashions. So flip through a couple of magazines to see what’s actually in. Leave your lucky T-shirt at home. Wear garments that fit. Get a second opinion on your outfit choice from a roommate or one of your bros. Clean your shoes. Iron your clothes. Clip your fingernails. Your date is looking to see that you pay attention to detail and carry yourself with care.
5. Poor Conversation
Just because you’re talking doesn’t make it a conversation. It should be 50-50 dialogue. Repeat after me, “what about you?”. When asked a question, share your answer then turn it around to hear from her. I was surprised to see how many guys loved to just blab about themselves: how popular they were in high school, fights they won, money they make or the “important” people they know. We don’t care about any of that stuff. We want to know who you are now. If conversing isn’t your strong suit, you can use social media to do a little homework. See what that person likes or is into. Bringing up similar topics will show that you paid attention and should spark interesting discussions.
6. Bring Up the Ex
This is never ok. Unless your ex surprisingly turns out the be the waitress…nope, still not ok. We don’t want to hear about your ex in any capacity. Even if we ask you, take a stance not to go into it. Just write it off as not worth talking about. “X marks the spot” and if the topic of your ex continues to pop up in your conversations, you may still be stuck there. Do some soul searching my brother. Watch a little Oprah and revisit the dating thing when you’ve healed.
7. Be Super Spiritual
I love a good man that loves the Lord and is passionate about his beliefs. It’s great to share your beliefs but don’t try to baptize me on the first date. No we cannot have communion with the appetizer bread. If you’re fasting, why’d you ask me out? I refuse to share with you the sins I’ve committed this week. Please save your sermons. Are you trying to start a church? I have my own pastor and he wouldn’t approve of you trying to take his members. Super spiritual people tend to hide behind rituals and church jargon because they’re afraid of who they really are. Don’t be so deep you that drown in the ocean of religion. Its lonely there.
8. Be Glued to Your Phone
If you’re not an ER doctor, you can do without your phone for a couple of hours. Put it on silent. Checking social media while on a date is a no-no. The most annoying thing you can do is show me a funny video. That’ll just let me know that you’re not funny and you can’t conduct an intriguing conversation. I may laugh at the video but trust me I’ve noted the above fact.
9. Halfsies
The guy should cover the expenses associated with the outing, especially the first date. I’m a firm believer in that. Honestly, both parties should prepare and budget for a night out. But the worst thing you can do is take a girl out and then except her to go dutch. She may be an “independent woman” but she’s looking for a “dependable man”. If she reaches for the bill smack her hand. No I’m just kidding. But most women will reach for it, when that happens place your hand on top of hers and say, “I got you.” She’ll feel a sense of ease inside. You can avoid that whole moment by privately telling the waiter up front that it’s one bill. Now, finances can get tight for everyone so you may have to get creative. If you can’t pay then you can’t play.
10. Foul Play
I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this after middle school. Why are some guys are still pulling the yawning stunt to put their hands around a girl? Whack! Accidental boob swipes, booty brushes, frisky hugs and other sly antics are all creep activity. It’s good if you’re physically attracted to the girl, but don’t try to cop a feel in the movie theatre or play footsies at dinner. Never go in for a kiss without an expressed invitation. Worst of all, don’t ask for a sexy pic to keep you warm at night. Grab a pillow and get a grip of your hormones.
Hopefully my tour of the Don’t Do Museum of Dating will be helpful on future adventures. I know it may seem like girls wants so much from guys and I can’t disagree with that. The good news is, no two girls are the same, everyone is looking for something different. Bottom line: we really just want you to be your authentic self and show us a glimpse of that great guy you’re becoming. So on your next date, do just that, bring the best you and don’t do any of the 10 things that’ll ruin the date. If that’s still not enough for a girl, never fret. There’s a girl waiting to meet you who won’t be able to think of anything she’d rather do more than be with you.
–The Right Advice